Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Monday, March 5, 2012
Kidney disease sucks
I figured it was about time to continue my story...some fucking Kevin Sorbo flick with him as this rancher was on and maybe that inspired me, who fuckIn knows? Maybe it Julius saying "school is OUT Mccullugh". Who fuckin knows? I think I'm at the point of my life where there's a few years of almost normalcy, the last I'd ever see. Ya know playing music getting high drinking, trying to impress young women all good times. I started having to piss ALL THE TIME!! Like every 20 min. Plus I was thirsty as fuck. Drinking and pissing is all I did. Realizing this could not go on I saw some great docs and they told me....son, your bladder is finished. What? It's shrunk and undo able. Holy fucking Christ if that wasn't the bag over the head fuckin Xmas gift! They did have a plan for me though. Now I'm not sure how many people k ow this about me but here it is. They decided to make a new bladder for me out of part of my lower intestine which they'd place to the right of the old one. They then too the two ureters and placed them into the new bladder which is called an Indiana pouch. Not sure why maybe the wizard who invented it is named Indiana. Then a passage of about five inches comes out to the opening on the right side of my belly button. So it looks like I've got two buttons about 10cm apart on my abdomen. When I have to piss ill feel a kind of cramp in my right side and in order to go I've got to use what's called a size 16 French catheter which I insert up into the new bladder and tah-da piss is taken care of for about four hours. Then I do it again. Been this way since 1995. Some may wonder why I've always used the stall. This is why. Plus I've gotta have super clean hands and everything else every time. Not the easiest thing to explain to a girl. Actually all I've had to e plain to we're great about it. Maybe they didn't understand but they never cared which was kind of surprising. More tomorrow maybe
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