So im trying to write as much as i can on a daily basis...but with some other shit to do it gets to be a problem with not having enough time....my blood pressures been abnormaly high for the last few days...i mean its already on the high side but were talking like 178/119.....now thats high enough to almost be guaranteeing some overnight hospital observation....but we just upped my pressure meds and we'll see what happens...also kinda tired, dialysis runs have been good....another thing is ive had zero fucking patience the last few days....either people have become dumber or i should relax a bit....my mom and dad came out so this weeks also been really fun with them...
Anyways back to the bl- ah-ah wait a sec i almost said that fucking stupid word, back to the story....
after a few months of chemo i started the 6th grade and around october i got introduced to the fantastic world of radiation treatment....yup for the next 3 months, twice a day, every day, my dad or mom, mostly dad, would drive us to south side of edmonton to the cross cancer institute so i could lay in this plaster cast mold and get high powered radioactive lasers blasted into me....pretty much hit my tailbone and al my lower back and butt...theres no pain involved in the actual x-ray but after a few weeks of this i ended up with the worst goddamn sunburn on my back and ass...fuckin blistering bleeding fucking skin....i would find out slowly over the next two and a half decades how much damage the cursed god awful fuckin radiation treatment actually did....
at this point i was taking the cylclophosphomide(the 7 little demon pieces of fucking hell) in the evening before bed...and just after christmas i had to be admitted to u of a hospital because i was just too sick too be at home plus the pills had made my piss red and burning...and i was pissing every hour...
iys kind of hazy but iwas in the hospital for over two months....no school no friends no playing no good food and the feeling of somebody ringing out the life in your body 24 hours a day...sure the odd friend of mine came but at that age kids dont understand....i have to say i grew up really fast and it was during times like these two months that i became to realize how truly important family is
the pills eventually decimated my bladder until it was only able to hold about 30ml which ment pissing ALL THE FUCKING TIME!!!!!...which couldnt happen so i was told i had to have a catheter inserted into my johnson, up my urethera and into my bladder, secured by a small inflated balloon so it doesnt slide out, which would be connected to a bag that i would wear strapped to my leg...every 2 hours or so it would be full and id empty it in the toilet....now let me tell you that the insertion of a catheter of any size up your penis does not and will never i mean NEVER FUCKING FEEL GOOD!!!..i mean its like your pissing out a pencil, it fucking sucks....real nice for an 11 year old.
i kept this goddamn thing on for months as i went for this treatment my dad and doctors had found for my bladder...now this doozy is one for the fuckking books i tell ya...every week i would get this drug called DMSO injected up the catheter that i had up my junk already, and into my bladder with the hope that it would stretch my bladder back to the size and elasticity that a normal person would have...well it fuckin burned like hellfire inside and burned and burned and burned some more all the while reaking of garlic and stretching my bladder bak to somewhat normal size....yea it really smelled like garlic for some fucked up reason, which my dad ALWAYS had to bring up...after i dont know how many sessions of this i was able to get rid of the catheter and bag and everything...i was sorta back to pissing normal ...i think i was going every two or four hours...and when i sleep im up every 4 hours....i was really happy things turned out...little did i know that all of it would be taken away for good about 8 years later....
Goodness Matty! That's terrible. I can relate to a certain degree on the bladder thing. I've had three bladder distensions, where they put you under general aesthetic, shove a balloon in your bladder and blow it up to get it to "normal" size. The ONLY good thing about that was the cookies and the Oxycontin. They also shaved little bits of my urethra off during these "procedures" cuz apparently mine is too narrow. I also had the joy of having bits shaved off my urethra twice in the urologists office under "local anaesthetic", which for one involves more things being shoved up your urethra, and then the fact that the local didn't actually DO anything. So yeah...fun times!
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